FALL INTO HORROR: Ramblings of a Horror Geek with S.H. Roddey

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Welcome to Fall Into Horror with Mocha Memoirs Press!

Mocha Memoirs Press is celebrating the new Fall season by showcasing their love of horror and the authors who write it. Please welcome S.H. Roddey as they share their thoughts on fall and horror.


Ramblings of a Horror Geek

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I watched Hellraiser last night. The last time I sat down and watched that movie was more than ten years ago. And it was quite a bit longer ago that I read the book. I was a lot younger and a lot more impressionable then, and the Cenobytes used to scare the hell out of me. The Chatterer still freaks me out because I used to have nightmares about things that looked like him when I was a kid. Then I dreamed about killing zombies. It seems whenever these crazy zombie dreams manifest, Selah Janel is always there. Last night she helped me cut down hundreds of zombies while trying to simultaneously rescue someone and get out of a drive-in theater park. Last time we went on an adventure in my dreams, we were looking at buying a house where the groundskeeper was using zombie labor to rebuild an old manor owned by giants. Don’t ask…I can’t explain any of it. So at two o’clock this morning I was lying awake in bed, trying to sort out the ramblings of my mind, and this crazy thought appeared in the forefront: I’m a writer. Why not put all these things together and actually make a book out of it? Which meant that at 2:15 this morning, I was sitting in the dark with a notebook and a pen, scribbling down ideas in a vain attempt to create a reasonable plot out of the madness in my head. By 2:30, I was watching old Peanuts cartoons and wondering exactly where I detoured into left field. I wasn’t always this weird, warped creature. When I was a kid, I was … Oh hell, who am I kidding? I was never normal. After the movie last night, my husband and I had an interesting discussion about iconic movie monsters. Nine times out of ten, when I ask someone to name a slasher flick monster, one of six names comes to mind. Let’s review the list, shall we? Chucky: Okay, so I don’t really consider Chuckie all that “monster”ish. He’s basically Pinocchio on LSD. And a pretty stupid character, in my humble opinion. HOWEVER, when it comes to creeps and chills, he’s definitely up there on the list of horror icons. He’s rude and he’s crass, and there’s not much stopping the director from firing it up with a bit o’ doll-porn in later episodes of the franchise. Not my favorite, but definitely note-worthy. Michael Myers: He’s not a monster in the sense that the others are, but he’s still scary. When dealing with serial-killing psychos, this name seems to pop to the top quite a bit. I personally enjoy the Rob Zombie remake better than the original even though the story of the original face being a cut-up version of a William Shatner mask makes me giggle with manic glee. Except that the chase scene goes on for about half an hour too long. Plus it was a lot of fun at Fandom Fest a few years ago watching him play pool with Jack Sparrow and the Borg in the bar. Leatherface: Again with the murderers! Mutated mass murdering psychotic monsters? Yep, you got ’em right here. The movies themselves are a light-plotted bloodbath, yet based on true events. The concept seems to appeal to the masses on a fundamental level, yet I almost find myself pitying Leatherface himself because of his sad, sadistic lot in life. Random yet related: Bob Elmore is one of the coolest people I’ve ever met. It’s not every day you turn around to find a real-life movie monster (minus the mask) standing behind you. I’m not a big fan of the gore, but I gained a new respect for the character that day. Pinhead: See above. Creepy, bizarre, and all around nasty individual. Plus his backstory as a human-turned-monster is interesting. The makeup on this guy is kickass and the character’s personality is one that leaves nothing to the imagination. He’s the ultimate hedonist, presented in a way that you can’t help but love him even as he’s turning you inside out and destroying your soul. Just another reason why I aspire to be Clive Barker when I grow up. Jason Vorhees: Okay, so he’s one of the big ones that EVERYBODY IN THE WORLD knows and adores, but can I just say that I don’t buy it for a second? The original “Friday the 13th” was a great movie because the crazy person wasn’t Jason. However, the story in the first movie created a wholly unrealistic basis for the character that would become the icon for the franchise. JASON VORHEES DROWNED AS A SPECIAL NEEDS CHILD, PEOPLE!!! HE CAN’T COME BACK AS AN ADULT MAN WITH INTIMATE KNOWLEDGE OF MACHETES! Regardless of what I believe, people love him, and the franchise has, in fact, made a ludicrous amount of money allowing him to run around and hack mostly-naked teenage girls to bits over and over again. Freddy Kruger: Now we’re talking. When I was a kid, Freddy was my big one. He scared me senseless. I still to this day can’t watch Dream Warriors without a chill crawling up my spine. Yeah, the character itself has a few holes in his realism, but the scariest part of Freddy? You can’t kill what doesn’t actually exist. Which is why I have to call bullshit on Jason Vorhees winning that battle. The writer and director failed miserably on that one. But I’m also a little biased, so it’s all good. Well, at least until you hear the knocking and that creepy little voice. “One, two, Freddy’s coming for you…” So in the end what do we take from all of this? Pinhead is freaky and Freddy Kruger is the stuff of which my bad dreams are made. Now tell me, Creeps, who’s your worst nightmare?


ABOUT S.H. RODDEY

South Carolina native S.H. Roddey has been writing for fun since she was a child and still enjoys building worlds across the speculative fiction spectrum filled with mystery and intrigue. She brings to the literary world a unique blend of humor, emotion, and wild ideas filled with dark themes and strong characters. She is a voracious reader, wannabe chef, and video game addict with two full-time jobs: administrative professional and mom to human and furry children alike. She also enjoys being married to her best friend and full-time muse. Stalk her at: http://www.shroddey.com http://creepyauthorgirl.wordpress.com http://www.facebook.com/AuthorSHRoddey http://www.twitter.com/draickinphoenix


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ABOUT MOCHA MEMOIRS PRESS:

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Mocha Memoirs Press, LLC is a genre-oriented publishing company. Their vision is to provide an outlet for outstanding speculative and romance stories that often fall beneath the radar of traditional publishing houses. They seek to provide quality stories that invigorate the reader’s literary palette like a good, strong coffee. Like great coffee houses, they offer a variety of flavors. They publish stories in the following genres: science fiction, fantasy, horror, and romance, including the sub-genres of steampunk, cyberpunk, diesel punk, alternate history, weird westerns, and mash-ups.

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How to Survive A Dark and Stormy Night

2c7281c655a8071f146d3a551507ae078747a4336b00d1948e369b094e048115If you’ve ever read any of my books, you’ve probably noticed that they have a particularly gothic flair.  Usually Southern Gothic, but not always.  I’m a lover of the macabre which can sometimes make my romances a little less than romantic for some.  But I can’t help it.  I’ve always been a creature of the night. So when ManCrates.com (more about them later) asked me to put up a blog post about a Horror Movie Survival Kit, how could I refuse?

Picture it.  It’s a dark and stormy night.  Your car has broken down on a lonely country road.  There’s no one around and the rain is beating down so hard you can barely see a couple of inches in front of you. Ahead you can see an enormous, run down old mansion rising from the flat landscape.  Perhaps there’s a nice old lady there with a phone you can use.  So, in blissful ignorance, you fight your way up the mucky drive and immediately find yourself in the middle of a horror movie.  What do you do?  How will you survive? What are the essentials of maneuvering your way through the horror tropes until daylight breaks the spell?  Well, I’ve compiled a little list to help…

#1  Clean underwear.  My sainted Mama always reminded us to wear clean underwear whenever we went out.  “You never know when you might be in a car accident,” she’d scold.  Turns out that this savvy bit of street smarts is in fact essential.  Chicks in horror movies always manage to show us their underwear while they’re outrunning the psycho killer.  Think how embarrassing it would be if she had holes in there or mysterious stains!  Talk about adding insult to injury!

#2  A car charger for your mobile phone.  Everyone in horror movies these days has a cell phone.  You see them use it several times to call home to Mom, sext their boyfriends or even use the GPS app to find their way down the lonely country road.  The one thing they never have is a car charger!  In the most tense moments of the movie, you always see the hero/ heroine look down at their phone only to find that their battery is dead.  Moral of this story:  always keep a spare charger in the dash of your car.

#3  A good pair of sneakers.  Have you ever noticed that women in horror movies are never wearing the right shoes?  I mean, I have this problem myself.  I’m a firm believer in “if I can’t wear flip-flops, I’m not going.”  But come on, people.  Nine times out of ten, the damsel in distress is running from Freddy Krueger in a pair of Gucci pumps.  She trips on a gum wrapper, breaks her ankle and is devoured by the baddie.  So please, for the love of all things holy– throw some well-worn Nikes in the trunk.

#4 An IQ.  I think this one’s pretty self-explanatory.  The people in horror movies often times leave their homes with no brains at all.  They stop in the creepy old house to use the phone.  They pick up a hitchhiker.  They leave their windows open for the first available vampire.  They decide to lose their virginity in the woods out behind the old shack.  What the hell is wrong with you people?  We actually start to root for these people to die because they’re such morons.  So please— don’t leave home without your brain.

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I could go on and on about this subject, but I fear that my horror movie survival kit would no longer fit in a small crate in your car.  And speaking of crates, I’d like to thank the folks over at ManCrate.com for inviting me to share my thoughts.  They’re an online company that specializes in amazing gifts for men.  Especially those that are hardest to buy for.  You can order a crate full of themed gifts for the man in your life and the best part is– he has to open it with a crowbar!  Anywhoo… thanks for the challenge!

Happy Halloween!

Well folks, it’s a great day for kids of all ages– HALLOWEEN!  It’s my favorite holiday that’s not Christmas.  I’m sure that’s a huge surprise, seeing how I’m so rainbows, sunlight and pink bunnies.  Halloween is the one day a year when it’s okay to be a little strange.  To dress up in costumes and stuff yourself with candy.  To squeal with delight at a ridiculously gory movie.  To admit that you really do like being a little scared.  Halloween is a time of year to embrace our fears and confront our own mortality. It’s kind of like thumbing your nose at the Grim Reaper.

So one of my favorite things to do on Halloween night is to curl up on the couch with a bowl full of candy and watch scary movies.  Preferably with a whole group of people with whom you can share some screams.  I thought I’d share some of the movies that I’ll be watching today/tonight to get me in that spooky mood…

1.  Warlock:  OK, so I have selfish reasons for loving this movie.  Well, maybe not selfish but certainly sexually motivated. See… I have a thing for villains.  I always have.  Since the age of 10, I’ve always preferred the dark and evil character.  They’re just more interesting and I seem to be attracted to their power.  And well… when they look like Julian Sands…. *fanning self*.  Ok… so I may be watching this one alone…

2.  Corpse Bride:  This is one you can watch with all ages.  The Tim Burton movie was a lesser succcess than Nightmare Before Christmas, but I actually like this one better.  The music is great, the message is very positive and I just identify with the Corpse Bride. I also like it because the other female character is actually a nice person that we like and want to see happy. And of course it helps that Johnny Depp lends his voice to the unfortunate Victor.

3.  Sweeney Todd:  Speaking of Johnny Depp and Tim Burton.  This one is NOT appropriate for little ones.  It’s been called one of the bloodiest movies ever and I have to say it comes close.  Fair warning, it’s a musical, but the songs are so complex and beautiful that you’ll be mesmerized.  And of course if you listen to the lyrics they’re quite disturbing…

4.  The Others:  BEST GHOST STORY MOVIE EVER!!  If you haven’t seen this, you are missing out.  I’m not going to say much about it because I don’t want to give any spoilers, but this is positively the spookiest movie I’ve ever seen.

Alright, I’m off to buy more gummi eyeballs. REMEMBER– I’m going to be announcning the winner in the Howloween Blog Hop giveaway TONIGHT!!  So keep on checkin’ in….. Be safe trick-or-treating!