Too Many Feels This Week

me and amy (2)First of all, let me apologize about the title.  I HATE that expression.  It doesn’t make sense at all and is grammatically incorrect.  But it seemed appropriate for this post.  See, I had decided to write a short, snarky blog post about the engagement of Benedict Cumberbatch and my reaction not to that event, but to the fangirl implosion.  And then yesterday, something happened that made me think that it would be stupid and insensitive to write about such a trivial thing.  Then I realized that my feelings about both issues were pretty similar and rooted in the same underlying ugliness.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock all week, you’ve probably heard that sapiosexual heartthrob and favorite Lexxx muse Benedict Cumberbatch, announced his upcoming nuptials to his girlfriend Sophie Hunter.  There was speculation that the internet might actually shut down, but it didn’t.  In fact, most fangirls have expressed nothing but happy thoughts and congratulations.  As for myself, I couldn’t be happier.  I’m extremely happy in my marriage and believe that I’ve found my soulmate.  It’s the most wonderful thing in the world and I’m so overjoyed that a person I respect and admire so much has found that for himself.  But I did see one comment that really took me aback.  Someone expressed that while they were happy for Ben and his future bride that they were really upset by how he announced this to his fans.  The implication being that the news should have been broken to them gently.  It was too sudden and he didn’t give them time to get used to the idea.  WTF?!  I wanted to scream at this person, “THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOU!  THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU!”  An engagement announcement in the newspaper isn’t for strangers (and yes, I hate to break it to you, ladies– we’re strangers).  It’s for family and friends to be notified that their loved one has an important life event coming up.  That comment summed up my whole problem with “fandom culture.”   Often times we tend to see celebrities as objects or products to be sold rather than people.  But they ARE people.  People with problems just like you.  People with moms and dads and siblings just like you.  People with mortgages and spoiled milk in their refrigerator and bad hair days and laundry piled up to their eyeballs and dirty socks in the bathroom just like you.  With people they don’t like and people they do.  And people they love.  The fact that fans saw that engagement announcement was just a side effect.  It wasn’t intended for you.  It was intended for one person to declare his love for another and to announce his intentions to his friends and family.  Just like people have been doing in their local newspapers since newspapers were invented.  Mr. Cumberbatch shouldn’t be under any obligation to announce anything to you about his personal life.  If he chooses to, then good on him.  But the fact that someone should be offended or upset that they weren’t told “properly” about a stranger’s engagement is ridiculous.  And SELFISH.  Get over yourself!

The other thing that happened this week is another, more extreme example of one person being selfish and seeing another person as an object to be possessed.  I got a call yesterday at work from a co-worker asking if I knew what was going on at an office building down the street.  There were all sorts of emergency vehicles and people milling around.  Knowing that my best friend works in said office building, I immediately panicked, worried that something terrible had happened to her.  Naturally I called her cell phone and to my great relief she picked up.  She informed me that a co-worker and mutual friend had been shot by her husband in the parking lot of their office.  He came to her work and asked if he could talk to her outside.  They argued and he shot her four times before turning the gun on himself.  The two of them had been separated for a few weeks.  It’s my understanding that the reason for the estrangement was that he was very abusive and she’d finally had enough.  Because he saw her as an object to be controlled and possessed, he couldn’t live with the fact that she was leaving him.  In an ultimate show of selfishness, he took her life and his own, leaving behind two children.  Two.  Whose lives will be ruined because of this extreme selfishness and objectification.

You might be thinking, “Okay Lexxx… please tell us what one thing has to do with another.”  But I’m getting there, just bear with me.  I’m very concerned about our culture.  I’m disturbed that we live in a world where people are so self-absorbed that they only worry about themselves and what they want.  My mother always told me that the definition of love was desiring to put someone else’s needs above your own.  In this world where everything is “all about me,” how can there be any love?  We’re so selfishly “looking out for number one” that its becoming this virus that creates evil and hatred.

Now, please do not think that I’m equating fangirl wailing with murder.  The common thread that I’m getting at here is:  it is not all about you.  If you love someone (in whatever sense), be happy for their successes.  Put others’ needs ahead of your own when it’s healthy to do so.  Remember that people, whether they’re behind a computer screen, the silver screen or the screen door on your mama’s porch– are people. Love them accordingly.  Have the grace and wisdom to know when it’s time to step back and when it’s time to hold on.  I promise– promise promise promise– that it will come back to you.

 

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#TeaserTuesday “Gentlemen Prefer Blondes”

CLICK ME to buy for $1.49!

CLICK ME to buy for $1.49!

So I’ve decided to try this #TeaserTuesday thing.  I don’t normally do it, but I’ll give it a whirl.  So the idea is to give a teaser– just a little paragraph– of your book.  My problem is, I have the hardest time finding ONE paragraph that will entice all of you rabid readers.  But I’ll do my best.  BTW– this teaser isn’t exactly SFW. 

****

“No undergarments.  How scandalous, Miss Spencer,” he rasped against my ear, so close that I could feel his lips moving against the cuff.  He accented his mock displeasure with a firm squeeze.  My nipple immediately tightened under his palm.  Biting back a groan, I leaned back into his embrace.  I could feel his cock, already impossibly hard and trapped in an unforgiving prison of denim, nudging against my backside.  “I could do it, you know,” he continued.  “I could eat you alive.”  His words made my heart pound like a jackhammer against my breast, sending a shockwaves of sensation straight to my center.  Involuntarily, I moved against him, rocking my hips backward in a desperate attempt to get some sort of relief.  Between my thighs was a rainforest, hot and wet.  I wanted so badly to open them and let the cool air sooth my sex.  I was thankful that I had opted for no panties.  I don’t think my body would stand the friction.  “Careful, love,” he whispered, his voice startling me. “It wouldn’t do to have you come right here in the elevator.” 

Copyright © Alexandra Christian, 2014

All rights reserved, Ellora’s Cave Publishing, Inc.

****

Damn, that Alexander Kensington– whew…. I could just eat him up.  Here’s more about the book so you can go buy the WHOLE thing for the bargain price of less than 2 bucks! 

Fangirl favorite Alexander Kingston has a “type”—blonde, willowy and sophisticated. He doesn’t give mousey wardrobe mistress Elizabeth a second look, until she transforms herself and sets out to seduce him.

But dark desires are at play. Before long their erotic encounter will turn into a date to die for.

Inside Scoop: This story contains sinister themes and predatory intentions.

A Romantica® horror erotic romance from Ellora’s Cave 

http://www.ellorascave.com/gentlemen-prefer-blondes.html#

 

American Girls are Weird, or The Desolation of Lexxx’s Ovaries

imagesCA1Y3W1LSo y’all know I’m a fangirl right?  If you don’t then obviously this is the first time you’ve ever visited my blog.  I mean, yes, I’m a writer of steamy romance, but every girl has to have a muse right?  Besides, reading the same three posts over and over about how GREAT my books are and where I get my ideas is just boring as hell.  So I often digress into prattling on and on about various and sundry pop culture obsessions.  Okay, so maybe just #Benedict Cumberbatch (like that hashtag?  hehe.. I made it myself).  So let me start off by telling why I like him.  I mean, there are many folks out there who don’t get it.  He describes himself as looking like a posh alien and in a way he does I suppose.  My sister, Lucy Blue, once said that he looked like he was some kind of alien shapeshifter who only had some vague idea of what a human was supposed to look like.  Ben (why yes, I like to be on a first name basis with my muses), has also said that his long face and neck generally implies some kind of inbreeding.  If that’s so, then truly incest is the best.  Honestly, I think he’s ethereally physically attractive.  I like striking features, what can I say?  But all that aside– that is only 5% of why I like him.  Ok, maybe 10%.  The rest of it has absolutely nothing to do with what he looks like.

1:  I’m a sapiosexual and that boy has an impressive brain.  He has a command of language and it’s obvious that he does not get his world view from the crawl on Yahoo.  Watching him being interviewed, while he usually seems at ease and is always personable, you can see him thinking.  When he talks about reading books, you know he’s telling the truth and not just being photographed holding them because he can talk intelligently about them. Upon being asked which ones are his favorites, they are not trendy books that EVERYONE has read, but books for which a movie hasn’t been made.

2.  Talent.  If you’ve been living under a rock and haven’t seen any of the movies/ television in which Cumberbatch has appeared this year, then you have to check one out to see what I mean.  I mean, we all have actors we think are good:  Russell Crowe, Tom Hanks, Meryl Streep, Daniel Day-Lewis.  And those folks are great, but holy shit— I’ve never seen anything like BC (yeah, he’s got his own abbreviation too. shush… get yer own!).  I’m a theater nerd from way back and was, in fact, on a slow moving train wreck to being an actress myself (story for another time).  So I feel pretty snobby when evaluating actors.  If they aren’t good, I can’t be bothered.  Even if they look like they were carved out of cream cheese, I just can’t like them.  I’m not naming any names (ahem… James Franco…) but if you can’t act, don’t be an actor.  Your angelic face and heavenly body will be lost on me.  This is why I can’t get excited about Magic Mike 2 (I didn’t even see the first one) or The Fast and the Furious franchise.  Honestly kids, go and find the BBC movie about Stephen Hawking.  Cumberbatch plays the title role and his portrayal of fear, sadness, determination, genius, elation and hope– even without dialogue– is just breathtaking.  And don’t get me started on the physicality that role demands.

hawking

CLICK HERE to watch part of “Hawking.”

 

3.  And he’s a nice fucking guy.  When did this become such a rare commodity?  He’s always polite (even in situations when, by all rights, he probably shouldn’t have been), personable, quick to compliment, funny, tolerant, and just a genuinely nice person.  He doesn’t take himself too seriously and knows that fame is fleeting.  He strikes me as a guy that, although he’s quickly becoming a superstar, would still shop at your grocery store and help you get something off the top shelf if you asked (this is important to me– I’m only 5’2″ and have T-Rex arms).  And as of yet, we haven’t seen any stories about him beating the shit out of some schmuck who put their cell phone in his face to snap a picture while he was standing at a urinal taking a piss.  And yes, he’s reached that point in his celestial path where people have made him an unfeeling object.  People who would have no trouble whatsoever in walking up to him and snapping his picture at point blank range without so much as a “hello.”  And the fact that he hasn’t clobbered someone yet speaks volumes.

Okay, now that I’ve finished gushing, let’s get to what brought this to mind today.  I was reading a site called Celebitchy today, having followed links, and got to a page that was talking about Ben’s recent stint in Malaysia (he hosted the Laureus Awards and did some presenting for the BBC at the Formula One Championship last weekend).  The article was snarky, but complimentary for the most part until it got to the end where the writer was talking about how he seemed to be trying to “butch up” his image and I thought— wait, what?  “Butch” up his image.  As if he’s been effeminate up to now?  And then I thought– ohhhh…. American girls are weird.

We seem to be having some kind of cultural crisis in America right now, ladies and it’s time we talked it over. It seems to me that over the past several years, we’ve taken a real swan dive in the qualities we value.  It seems that we can’t be bothered with men who aren’t impossibly beautiful (as in photoshop beautiful), cut like Greek statues or adults.  That’s right, I said it.  In our Red Bull guzzling, not going to work so we can play video games, teetotalling, Frat Boy arrested development male culture in America, we seem to have forgotten what real men are.  So now we’ve decided that any man who dresses like an adult (meaning he wears a freshly laundered button down shirt or dress pants or God forbid– a suit), shaves regularly, combs his hair and has a real job is gay or effeminate or a snob that thinks they’re better than everyone.  And I’m so sick of it!  I love men.  MEN.  Not boys.  And Benedict Cumberbatch is very obviously a man.  Just because he prefers a gin and tonic to Budweiser should not imply that he needs to “butch up.”

Isn't he cute!

Isn’t he cute!

As an aside, my husband combs his hair every day, wears clean clothes and has a real job.  He also has a Master’s degree in history, a funny accent and an IQ well over 140.  He doesn’t like racing or video games though– maybe he needs to butch up his image.  #NothingToDoWithWriting

Does She Ever Talk About Writing Anymore?

Yeah, I know.  I’ve gotten to where, on my blog at least, I’ve beenme and amy (2) talking a lot about my other interests.  And I hope that’s okay.  I hope that’s a contributing factor as to why I’ve had a serious upswing in my followers and traffic to my quaint little blog.  The fact is, I’ve gotten to where I hate reading the same things over and over on every writing blog that I follow.  I’m going to list some topics and… stop me if you’ve heard them…

*  Where do you get ideas?

*  How to get the most bang for your marketing buck?

*  Various sex topics (BDSM techniques, positions, sex toys, etc.)

*  How to get published.

*  I hate/ love social media.

I bet they sound pretty familiar huh?  Yeah, me too.  And everyone has the same old answers.  So recently,  I just decided, fuck it.  I’m going to blog about stuff that interests me, stuff that I observe, things I see online or on television, music… whatever.  Now don’t worry… I will still pop up with little pearls of wisdom about my writing, my process and of course my books (duh… I’m a whore just like everyone else). And I always try to tie it to writing in some respect.  After all, pop culture inspires the hell out of me.  So coming up this week, I will post my hot and heavy, drooling review of The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug entitled:  How Benedict Cumberbatch Laid Waste to My Ovaries. 

1000573_490362137720823_1050310338_nAnd speaking of Mr. Cumberbatch, I have to make some noise about the weirdest thing I saw on the internet via Facebook on Sunday.  Y’all know that I am a fangirl.  I admit it.  I’ve even come out in defense of Fanfiction (scroll backwards in the posts, you’ll find it).  My Pinterest and sometimes Facebook feed are awash with my little obsessions.  I livetweet about Sleepy Hollow and American Horror Story and I’m sure that I’ll be livetweeting about BBC’s Sherlock in a couple of weeks (any of you in the UK, if you give me spoilers before Jan. 19th, I’ll kick you til yer dead).  Anyway, I digress. 

On Sunday, I was reading a blog post that was relating the story of a Q&A done right after the screening of Sherlock, Series 3, Ep.1: The Empty Hearse.  The Q&A panel was “moderated” by Caitlin Moran, a fairly well known writer/interviewer/some might say feminist.  The long and short of it is, Ms. Moran thought it would be a laugh to have the show’s stars read a fanfiction aloud to a crowd of many.  I haven’t watched the Q&A in question because I’m avoiding any spoilers of any kind, but from what I hear– it was pretty damn uncomfortable for everyone.  For one thing, the hot rumor is that she told the actors that it was not explicit.  Apparently, her definition of explicit was not shared with the class and it quickly descended into a Brokeback Mountain kind of uncomfortable (remind me to tell you sometime about that).  Anyway, from what I understand, the actors were good sports, though they did politely scold her for the pointless endeavor that kind of lessened what should have been a serious discussion. But of course, just like with anything “fandom related” (insert dramatic music here), that was just half the story.  The real story is the… what’s a good word to describe it… RABID twitter/ tumblr battle that ensued in the aftermath.  In fact I think we could call it “The Q&A:  The Desolation of Twitter” (see what I did there?)! 

Now I’m in some fan groups.  I’m on Twitter.  I wouldn’t say I have my finger on the pulse of the “Collective.”  I can just observe when their eyes are dilated (hidden obscure references abound).  And lemme tell ya, it got a little bit out of hand.  People ridiculing fanfiction, people ridiculing slash fanfiction, people ridiculing feminists… honestly, the Twitter board I saw yesterday read like a girls’ locker room throw down over the captain of the football team.  So what do I think about all this?  As if anyone cares…

1.)  Essentially, the actors in question (Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman, in case you’ve been under a rock this year), had their say and have moved on with their lives.  We should too.

2.)  Bullying and mudslinging from both sides is just stupid. Take off your sheet, put your big girl pants on and be fanWOMEN, not fanGIRLS.  That goes for you too, Ms. Moran. 😉

3.) The writer of the fanfiction had nothing to be ashamed of whatsoever.  She’s a good writer and should be proud that she’s brave enough to put herself out there for strangers to read. 

4.) You guys know what I write and I’ve had to read it in public before. They were my own, original words and it still made me blush.  Putting unsuspecting people on the spot like that is just cruel.  And also seems to diminish what they do.  I’m just sayin’– all the artists in that scenario were insulted.

5.)  Everyone makes mistakes and looks like a big ol’ donkey butt every now and then.  Granted, they don’t usually do it in public in front of international stars, fans, television executives and journalists… but we do act like cunts from time to time.  I’m sure that the world isn’t going to fall apart any time soon just because this was Ms. Moran’s turn. 

All righty, then…so yeah, the blog.  I’m going to try to do some updating this week.  My shows are in hiatus for the holidays, so nothing on that.  But I’m sure I can find something to talk about.  Probably mishaps with tree decorating, the recipe for the best fudge ever, more fangirling… no, fanWOMENing.  OK, I’m not sure that’s going to catch on.  It’s kind of awkward…

So Busy!!

feetHi kittens!  I’ve been so busy the last month.  The holidays… writing… fangirling… it’s all just been too much.  But I wanted to let you all know that I haven’t forgotten you.  Tonight I appeared on “Nice Girls Reading Naughty Books” with Bernadette Walsh.  It was an awesome experience!  We talked about writing and television and husband bashing– it was great!  I thought I’d leave the link here so you could go and take a listen later on!

<div style=”font-size:10px;text-align:center;width:400px;”>New Books Internet Radio with <a href=”http://www.blogtalkradio.com/bernadettewalsh” rel=”nofollow”>Bernadette Walsh</a> on BlogTalkRadio</div>

In other news, I’m off to tweet/ fangirl about American Horror Story: Coven.  If you aren’t playing along, you should be.  It’s great, snarky fun and isn’t that what America is all about?  Coming up on the blog:  holiday recipes, holiday shopping HELL, premature squee-ing about BBC Sherlock and news about upcoming releases!

Stay sexy, kids!