50 Shades of WTF?!?: Kinky is NOT Synonymous with Crazy!

OK… it’s been a few days since we’ve talked.  *In my best Joan Rivers voice* Can we tawlk? I’ve been stewing about this for a couple of days now and I just have to speak up.  I have enjoyed the book a great deal.  I agree that its poorly written in spots, that the character of Ana is juvenile– all those things I’ve said I stand by, but overall– it’s an entertaining read.  However, there is something that is really bothering me.  Being kinky does not mean that you’re a crazy person!

Let me begin by saying that in my travels over the internet and Convention circuits, I have met several people that are in alternative lifestyles– among those BDSM lifestyles.  Some are 24-7 TPE (Total Power Exchange), some just play bedroom games (more my speed– my mouth is too big for TPE), some are polyamorous, some just have open relationships, some are LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transexual/gender).  Variety is the spice of life and we are so lucky in this world to have so many flavors.  And I must tell you that none of the people I’ve met had deep seated psychological problems.  To my knowledge, none of these people have been abused as children, lived in a cardboard box at some point in their lives, or have violent reactions to shellfish. My point is, just because you like kinky sex or live an alternative lifestyle doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you.  As a person who likes a little spice in her life— I’m kind of offended.  For myself, but for all those people who just want to do what they like in peace.  Or have a hard enough time with people telling them they’re abnormal.

More than once in 5o Shades they’ve alluded to Christian having some kind of early childhood trauma that has led him to be this way.  I haven’t gotten far enough to figure out exactly what that is, but I have a good idea.  My question is– why?  Why can’t he just be a kinky dude?  In the book when Ana asks Grey why he’s like this, he simply says “It’s just how I’m made.”  And you know what?  That’s the right answer.  Some people are just made the way they are.  Some people have blue eyes, some brown.  Some people like straight  missionary sex, others want to tie their partners up.  It doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with them.  As long as what you like to do is consensual and safe, why is it abnormal?  One theory is that it’s easier for us as a society to “accept” these strange feelings of mixing pleasure and pain that some of us have if we explain it away with neuroses.  We don’t have to feel guilty if it isn’t our fault.  I assert that you shouldn’t have to feel guilty.  Is it that the author feels guilty about these fantasies?

Anyway, just some observations.  The good news is, I’ve had an idea for a ridiculous Free Read.  Join me later this week for part one of “31 Flavors of Bastian Robbins.”

And don’t forget, if you like reading my blog, be sure to check out some of my books.  I’m really funny in a longer forum… 😛

In case you didn’t know by now, I’m an author of (mostly) paranormal erotic romance.  You can find my work in your favorite eBook format at:  Barnes and Noble, Amazon, Bookstrand and AllRomance eBooks

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