50 Shades of WTF?!?, The Return

Well I have to say, kittens, that I really enjoyed tonight’s chapters.  Despite of some of the complaints that I’ll get into later, I have to say it made me smile.  And I didn’t think it was going to at first.  When the chapter began with an improptu visit from Christian’s mom I thought we were about to segue into total cornball territory.  But surprisingly, the visit was short and it gave us just enough to know that he 1– didn’t spring from his father’s forehead, 2– he wasn’t born from midichlorians (I had a theory) or 3– his mom wasn’t some cold hearted, blueblood bitch.  The latter would have been such a damn cliche.  And it might prove me wrong later.  As you know, I’m talking about the chapters as I read– so I’m not done yet.  I have to say I’m starting to enjoy the relationship between Christian and Ana, but it’s mostly due to the believeability of Grey.  Of course, I’m a girl, so perhaps I’m too hard on Ana, but her language and decisions are just so juvenile.  But his dialogue is great.  Just the right amount of flirtation and innuendo coupled with that intimidating seriousness.  And the author does a really great job of making us feel that intimidation.  See– I do think she has some talent as a writer, lest you think I’m just trashing the whole thing.  Notice I continue to read…

And on to the complaint department…

1.  Shut up you inner fucking goddess.  Now the voices in her head are doing the lotus position and jumping up and down!  WTF?!!?  I’m all for inner dialogue, but enough already!!

2.  Team Jacob/ Team Edward, thinly veiled.  Does anyone else think that Jose’s character is a little too Jacob Black?  My theory?  We changed Jacob to Jose and made him Hispanic rather than Native American.  Because Portland has such a HUGE Hispanic population….

3.  The contract.  Now, in a contemporary BDSM novel it is commonplace to show the negotiation between the Dominant and submissive.  Some even believe that it’s the responsibility of the author to show this as an educational tool.  You want people to be safe if they decide to try any of the BDSM play mentioned in the book.  So you show negotiation, rules, talk about safewords, etc.  And I have to say– James does a FANTASTIC job of emphasizing the safety involved in this type of relationship.  But did we need to read the ENTIRE TEN PAGES OF THE CONTRACT WORD FOR WORD?!  Just excerpts would have sufficed and the length was very tiresome.  This is where an editor could have stepped in and gotten it under control.

But overall, tonight I really enjoyed the chapters.  Perhaps I’ve been drawn in a little more this time. Who knows, but it made me want to keep reading.  Stay tuned, faithful readers, for tomorrow I plan to give you my thoughts AND a few things to read that are similar to 50 Shades but BETTER.  Cuz I know that now you’ve had a taste of the BDSM Erotic Romance, you’ll be hungry for more…


I’m available for questioning at the following locales:

The Southern Belle from Hell: https://lexxxchristian.wordpress.com/

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/alexandra.christian1

Fan Page on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Lexxx-Christian-The-Southern-Belle-from-Hell/245839382102904

Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/LexxxChristian

In case you didn’t know by now, I’m an author of (mostly) paranormal erotic romance. You can find my work in your favorite eBook format at: Barnes and Noble, Amazon, Bookstrand and AllRomance eBooks


3 thoughts on “50 Shades of WTF?!?, The Return

  1. Okay, this is why I can’t imagine myself ever being inspired to write BDSM erotica in today’s market, even though I’m very inspired by BDSM-type interactions – a contract? Really? And is it also considered irresponsible if we don’t show the heroine purchasing condoms, complete with a description of the pharmacy in question, the brand and type, and her protocols for application? And what about a yearly mammogram – if you have a heroine over the age of 35, do we have to see her get that, or do we assume that all stories take place sometime within that sweet spot between doctor visits – in which case shouldn’t we at least see her check her calendar to consider calling and making an appointment? And dear heavens, what if the characters need to cross a busy street – left, right, left, people! Left, right is NOT ENOUGH!

    Seriously, it’s erotic fantasy. In real life, absolutely, get a contract, have a safe word, make sure your inner goddess of autonomy is protected even under a ball gag. But we’re not writing guidebooks; we’re writing stories.


  2. Note to oneself…do not be drinking any liquid while reading this blog or else risk spitting all over the laptop in laughter. As i just did with your #3 complaint. Looking forward to your next entry!


  3. D. X. Luc says:

    I’ve actually finished and as you’ve mentioned Christian Grey is amazing. When I first read Jose my first thought was Jacob in non werewolf disguise. I do find myself smiling whenever Christian is in the scene. Great post as always!


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