Fifty Shades of WTF?!!

Well folks, summer is nearly upon us and I hope to be able to give more of myself to you, my faithful minions… I mean… readers.  Anyway, last weekend I finally broke down and bought a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey. 

Just like everybody else.

So it’s only fitting that I document my humiliation with a blog post.  Pardon me, postSSS.  That’s right, dear reader.  I’ll be giving you the play by play of all my random thoughts and WTF moments as I read.  Well tonight, ImageI made my way through Chapter One.  At first I was expecting the writing to be just horrible.  It wasn’t.  Clearly the woman has somewhat of a grasp of the English language.  All the periods, capitals and commas are in the right place. Unfortunately, it wouldn’t have made much difference if they weren’t.  The problem I had with the first chapter was that the writing seemed very stilted.  It just seemed as if I was reading a young adult novel that all of a sudden is going to have some sex.  The readability is pretty juvenile and that worries me once it gets to the explicit parts.  As an erotic romance author, I’m a firm believer that the writing has to be solid from the start– not just when you get to the dirty bits.  Otherwise, no one’s going to care.  And right now… I’m not sure I care.

Of course, I don’t have only bad comments!  I thought the introduction of Christian Grey was quite good.  His dialogue intrigued me and I can understand why he’s so sexy.  Edward Cullen would be proud.  I hope that Ana’s character is going to grow a little more in the telling.  I’m so sick of the “mousy girl gets attention of the hottie” routine.  It’s so… so… so Bella Swan.  Can we have an interesting heroine please?  Where are the romance writers that actually like women??  *sigh* 

So there’s my rant.  Stay tuned for chapter two….

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2 thoughts on “Fifty Shades of WTF?!!

  1. I’m intrigued. I can’t wait to follow all of your posts on this. 🙂 So, in other words, it reads like fanfiction? Maybe you should take some of your Ewan fic and turn it into erotic novels. 🙂

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  2. I’m beginning to really believe that the secret to financially successful fiction writing right now is to encapsulate a powerfully primal fantasy shared by many, many people (meaning some will be smart and some most definitely will not) without cluttering it up with anything resembling plot, point, or artistic motive. That’s what fan fiction has always been about. That’s what porn has always been about. That’s what those really gorgeous cookbooks have always been about. And now, sadly, I think that’s what mainstream fiction is about – the alternative being stuff that’s so ‘literary’ it’s pretty well incomprehensible to anybody but the writer – the emperor’s ‘new’ novel.

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