Paralyzed….

I am blogging to avoid doing all the things I still have left to do.  However, I have done my hair and laundry.  Next on my list is packing my suitcase, cleaning the house and having a shower.  Maybe later tonight I can actually sit down and overhaul my iPod and make more swag.

Earlier I got a comment saying that inquiring readers wanted to see me.  I wasn’t really sure how to take this, but seeing as how I have nothing to hide, I’ll post a pic.  And as I was thinking about it, I happened to think— there are LOTS of pictures of me out there on the intertubes.  I’m not sure if that’s good or bad, as one day some psycho could track me down.  But as a friend of mine once said, anyone who is a member of a social networking site has essentially given up their anonymity.  So screw it.  A pic of the ole Southern Belle herself…

The Real Me… exciting isn’t it…

There.. aren’t you pleased?  Aren’t you just falling all over yourself with joy and amazement.  I used to shy away from pictures rather readily, but I’ve decided.  Most people aren’t nearly as hard on me as I am on myself.  I need to remember this as I go forth this weekend in Louisville.  Even when I think I sound like an idiot.  Or look horrendous.  Or my hair won’t do what I want— other people won’t even notice.  And I suppose that this is the key to self-confidence, folks.  Not giving a damn what other people think as long as you’re happy with yourself.  And after 34 years I’ve decided– I AM.  Sure I’d like to lose a few pounds, have more novels under my belt, write better– and I’ll strive for those things.  But I don’t have to rely on those things to be happy with myself.

I was having a conversation with my siblings today and they were saying that no matter what I do, I always manage to land on my feet.  I just laughed and said, “Well… I know I’ve always been charming.”  And I think that’s part of it.  I’m also, for the most part, unafraid to speak my mind, ask questions and try something new.  Which I realize, might also work against my “goth chicky” image.  I’m not quiet or gloomy.  I don’t carry a frown.  I’m very personable and like talking to people.  But yeah… I am charming.
This is the part where you all tell me to shut up and get to work packing.  I’ve rambled long enough.  But I figured this was something I needed to tell myself to quell those gnawing feelings of self-doubt that have been working on me all week long.   I can only be me and everyone just has to accept it.  Or, as they say, fuck ’em.
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